Channels
by TheIncredibleDancingBetty
Summary: Have you ever watched a show and wondered: What would it be like if the ninja turtle were in that show? Well, wonder no more! A just for fun fic where I insert the turtles into random TV shows and movies, thanks to a Kraang-tech remote control. Recommendations for shows/movies encouraged. Anonymous reviews welcome. Rated for language. 3rd POV


I Don't Own the TMNT

A/N: I know, it's been a while, right? Well, I had to take a brief hiatus. I was finishing my bachelor's, and I swear that final semester was crazy with the amount of work to do. I swear the professor was just throwing everyone against the wall to see who stuck.

In any case, this fic is meant to be lighthearted and fun. Some characters (especially non-turtle characters) might be OOC but, like I said, this isn't meant to be serious. Hope you like it!

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Mikey snuck around to the side as his brothers settled in for the movie. He saw what Don had been working on. And his fingers practically itched to get ahold of it.

A remote.

And not just any remote, but a remote that Don seemed hell bent on keeping away from him, which could only mean that, somehow, it was composed of pure awesomeness.

As soon as the door closed behind him, he saw it. It was beautiful! There must be a million buttons! Okay, there couldn't be any more than fifty, but still, right?

Eyes wide and twinkling, he picked it up lovingly. It whirred at his very touch, giving off a slight vibration. Face splitting into a wide grin, he let out a giggle. Oooh! Wow! Grin still plastered on his face, he looked around the Lab. What should he try it on first? He pointed it hesitatingly at a few objects, but though his fingers scraped the buttons, he didn't press just yet. Cocking his head, he chewed on his lower lip. No. The first thing that he pointed it at, it had to be perfect. Just perfect. But what?

His face lit up as the best idea ever in the creation of ideas popped into his head.

What else?

The TV of course!

Practically skipping, he came into the main living area, where his brothers were on the couch, arguing over what they wanted to watch. Jostling, they wrestled over the remote.

"Stop it, Leo! Wrestling is on! I can't miss this match up!" Raph growled.

A look of resolution on his face, Leo didn't relinquish his hold. "There's a documentary on The Art of War on the History Channel. Don't you think that it would be more useful? Stop being so stubborn."

Giving them a beseeching look, Don hovered around them. "At least let me set the DVR to record Cosmos. There's a new episode! I mean, come on guys! There's ten TVs!"

As they wrestled over the remote, the channels on all the TVs were flipping through randomly.

Mike surveyed the scene with a grin then looked down at his remote. Lifting it up in the air in the manner of He-Man, he interrupted the fight. "I...Have...THE POWEEEEEEEEERRRRR!"

His brothers abruptly stopped what they were doing and stared at his brothers. Confusion and annoyance etched Leo's and Raph's face. However, as soon as Don saw what was happening his eyes went wide. "MIKEY! DON'T!" Roughly shoving his brothers apart, he made a mad leap towards his youngest brother.

But it was too late.

Mikey's finger pressed a button.

Immediately every turtle froze as a prism of light appeared between the brothers and the televisions as if someone had just sliced the air. It expanded, engulfing the turtles, casting the Lair in stark shadows. Still, they remained frozen. Then, with a piercing sound, the turtles disappeared.

And so it began...

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The turtles looked around at their unfamiliar surroundings. They were sitting on the couch with a couple of chairs near to them. Everything beyond the small expanse of floor was hazy and out of focus. Raph leapt up from it, nearly knocking over the low table with a decorative knickknack on it. "What the hell is this!?"

Leo looked at Don. "What just happened? What's going on?" His eyes roved their surroundings. "Where are we?"

Growling, Don snatched the remote from Mike's hands. He released it with a yelp. Looking nervous, the brothers looked at him. Glowering at his younger brother, Don then looked at the remote, his eyeridges furrowed in concern. "I was making this remote using Kraang technology. I was hoping to use it to be able to access dimensions, to control where we go and when. But this can't be right...It shouldn't have worked yet…what happened?"

Snarling, Raph turned to his brainy brother. "What the hell do you mean 'what happened?' Don't you know? Didn't you make the damned thing? Why don't you know what's going on?" Stalking around them, he rubbed his head roughly. "Useless!"

Glaring at him, Don rose to his feet. "I haven't finished it yet! It shouldn't have done anything! It's not like it's an exact science! At least not yet."

Standing up, Leo stepped in between them. "Guys, stop. This isn't the time." Turning towards Don, he looked at the remote. "Can you take us back?"

Chewing on his lower lip, Don pressed a button, only nothing happened. The turtles stood around him, antsy, as he fiddled with it for a moment. Finally he bit back a sigh. "I was afraid of this. It needs to power up. It'll do it on its own, it has its own internal power source, but it will probably take anywhere between ten minutes to half an hour or so until it happens. And then...I don't even know what Mike pushed, and like I said, I hadn't calibrated it yet. It...it could take us anywhere." Frowning, he looked around the small, increasingly creepy space they were in. "I could get a better idea if I knew where we were."

"So, we're just going to be randomly shuffled to God knows where? What kind of genius are you?" Raph snapped, rubbing a hand over his head.

Miffed, he glowered at Raph. "What? You think you can do a better job? You-"

Leo interrupted them, looking around with narrowed eyes. "Guys! Something's happening. Be ready."

Sure enough, the hazy blur that initially surrounded them was starting to clear. All turtles crouched slightly, muscles tensed, ready to meet whatever foe that could pop up.

But they weren't ready for what they saw.

It cleared to reveal a packed audience, clapping and cheering. The turtle's stomachs hit the floor as they saw that they were on a stage...at a television studio. Looking around, they saw several huge telescoping television cameras aimed right at them. Stage lights illuminated them to a piercing degree. Leo gripped his brother's arm, slowly forcing them back. The weight of all the eyes was having an effect on him most of all. "We have to get out of here..." He whispered hoarsely.

But Don leaned over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Wait...look at them...they…they don't even seem to notice what we are..."

Sure enough, the audience gave no indication of being freaked out that there were giant humanoid turtles on the stage before them. They just looked happy to be there. "What the shell..." Raph blanched.

Leo's eyes swiveled to Don, his body still tense. "What are you saying?"

Frowning, Don gulped but looked steady. "Something tells me that we should play along for now."

Just then, from the walkway separating the two halves of the audience, a familiar figure walked in, causing the audience to erupt in renewed, frenzied applause. Leo gaped at him. "No way..."

Mike giggled. "Dudes, this just got awesome!"

Don swallowed, his knees getting shaky as a realization dawned on him. "I think I know what happened..."

Raph stared in disbelief. "No. Way. In. Hell."

Dr. Phil smiled and waved at the audience as he approached the stage and warmly greeted the four turtles, who still stood staring at the TV personality star. Sitting on a chair at the center of the stage, he gestured to the chairs before him. "Please sit so we can get started." He said with his Texas twang. The audience looked at them expectantly. The turtles looked beyond uncomfortable. They were being treated like average, human guests!

Turning on Don, Raph stared. "We're in the TV?"

Nodding, face pale, Don swallowed. "Yep."

"On the Dr. Phil show..." Leo looked at him as he slowly sat down.

Again Don nodded. "Yep."

Mike grinned. "And we can get his autograph!"

All three turtles turned on him. "NO!"

With a growl, Raph turned as if to leave. Abruptly Leo touched his arm. "Raph, wait."

"Yes." Don slowly sat down. "The tv show only shows this set. If you walk off it…there's the possibility that you'd be walking off into nothingness. I don't know what would happen then."

With gentle pressure, Leo got Raph to sit down. "Look. As soon as the remote recharges, then we'll leave, alright? Just…be patient."

They were then interrupted as Dr. Phil addressed the TV cameras. "Today on our show, we have four brothers who have overcome overwhelming circumstances to become who they are. However, like all families, they have their own issues. They are here to help work through these issues together to become a stronger family unit." Turning his gaze to them, he hunkered down with a look of seriousness, directing his gaze to Leo. "So if I understand correctly, you were raised in abject poverty by an adoptive father, cut off from normal society for fifteen years, all the while training in an extremely difficult form of martial arts, correct?"

Leo blinked at him. Should he just answer? Maybe it makes sense? Then he looked at the cameras and his face turned crimson. "Yes…"

Turning, Raph glared at him. "Why are we doing this?" He hissed.

Stroking his chin, Don was deep in thought. "They know our life story…maybe our memories were transferred to the show? Since our physical and intellectual forms were?"

Ignoring him, Raph leaned in towards Leo until his face was inches from his. "I can't believe you're doing this!" Raph hissed again, though this time louder.

"Raphael."

The turtle started as Dr. Phil said his name. "I'd like to start with you. Why do you have so much anger in you? Particularly towards your oldest brother?"

He stared at the doctor, mouth slightly agape. Then he shook himself. "I don't have to talk to you! I don't have to explain myself!" Standing up, he made as if he was going to walk out.

"I think that you're jealous."

Raph froze at that statement, less than a few feet from the stage. Slowly turning, he looked at him, his face turning red. "What did you say?" Stalking towards him, he stopped a foot from Dr. Phil, jabbing a finger in his face. "I have NOTHING to be jealous about! Especially about HIM!"

Leaning back, Dr. Phil smiled slightly. "That's not what our experts have found out."

"What experts?"

"According to their observations…"

Raph's mouth wrenched, incredulous. "What observations?!"

"…Leo is the best at ninjitsu, the most disciplined and the leader of your group."

He stomped. "He is NOT! I can beat him one on one!"

Dr. Phil continued nonplussed. "Therefore he gets the most approval from your teacher and father. But I want you to know…because I care about you…that this is nothing to be ashamed or jealous about. These things happen in sibling relationships all the time!"

Frozen, Raph stared at him in open mouth shock. Behind him Mike abruptly giggled. "So true!"

Whirling, Raph started towards his brother. "Shut UP!"

"Now hold on right there friend!" Dr. Phil interjected.

Turning, he pointed a finger at him. "That goes for you too poindexter! I ain't your friend!"

"You're just redirecting your emotions. You don't know how to deal with them, so you translate it to anger. And you don't really know what you're angry about, so you divert it to others."

Raising his eyeridges, Don nodded. "Wow…he's probably not wrong there, Raph…"

"Don't you even start!"

"But don't worry, Raphael. I can help you! Already I have an appointment for you to seek anger management, to help you work through these emotions."

Stomping, Raph yelled. "I DON'T NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT!"

"Wow…what a way to prove him wrong there…" Leo muttered with a slight smile playing on his face.

The smile quickly fell as Dr. Phil turned to him. "Leonardo. I understand the pressure that you're under. Do you want to talk about this urgent need to be perfect? Don't you understand that nobody can be perfect?"

He blushed as his brothers gazes and the eyes from the audience turned towards him. Looking at the floor, he shrugged. "I just…I want to be the best I can be…"

Dr. Phil nodded enigmatically. "I understand and we can help you with that. First, let's talk about your relationship with Karai."

Leo's eyes cracked open, pupils dilated as he stared at Dr. Phil in abject disbelief. "What?!"

Leaning back, the man surveyed Leo's face. "You're starting a relationship with her, correct? Does Splinter know about this?"

He could do nothing but stare at the man, mouth agape. Quickly he looked at Don. "Is it charged yet?"

His brother shook his head.

"Now don't try to change the subject. You do realize that this relationship is against cultural norms, right? For one thing, she's your father's daughter. Wouldn't that make her your sister?"

The blood rushed from Leo's face. His mouth worked for a second but no sound came out. "I…I…I…uh…" Swallowing, he wiped his face with his palm. "I don't think of her…like that…"

Raising his eyebrows, lights shining off his bald head, Dr. Phil nodded while staring at him with an intense gaze. "But it is something that needs to be considered, right? Especially where Splinter is concerned. Even if you don't think of her like a sister, he thinks of you like a son and her like a daughter. What do you think that HE'LL think about it?"

"Ohhhh…this can't be happening…" Leaning back onto the cushion Leo covered his face with his hands to shield himself from the stares and to hide his blushing.

Don shrank back into his cushion when he saw the TV personality's gaze go over to him. "Oh shell…" He muttered under his breath while he looked at the remote. Nope. Not charged yet.

"Speaking of romances, I'm concerned for you, Donatello. Pursuing a girl who doesn't seem to be into you, while she is clearly close to Casey Jones. Perhaps it's time to have a conversation about this." Turning, he smiled to the corner.

Skin paling slightly, Don's eyes widened. "No…"

At Dr. Phil's gesture, April came walking in from the side stage, smiling and waving at the audience. With a timid little cheep, Don shrank within himself, a dozen shades of red spreading over his face. Sitting down across from Don in a single chair, April smiled at Dr. Phil before turning a concerned face to the turtle. "Dr. Phil said that you had something to say?"

With a smile, Dr. Phil turned to her. "Yes, he has something very important to say about your relationship." Looking at Don, he nodded. "She hasn't heard anything that we've just said."

A shocked, embarrassed look on his face, Don looked from Dr. Phil to April sitting across from her. "Are you real? You weren't in the Lair when the remote went off. This can't be real. No, it isn't really happening…it's just the tv show…"

April screwed her face. "What do you mean? Of course I'm real!"

With a look of kind patience, Dr. Phil smiled. "Donatello, denying the truth won't help you, open communication and dialogue will."

Holding up a finger, he shook his head. "Nope! This isn't real, and that isn't the real April, which means I don't have to say a damned thing!"

Beside him Raph clapped his hands together. "That's right! So all of that crap he said earlier doesn't even matter, it wasn't true!"

Hesitating, Don shook his head. "I don't know about that…"

"What are you saying?" He growled, gritting his teeth as he rose to meet his brother.

Suddenly some music started playing in the background. A look of annoyance crossed Dr. Phil's face as he turned towards the camera. "After this commercial break, we'll explore these issues in more depth, including Raphael's irrational phobia of cockroaches…"

Raph perked up, a scared look on his face. "Wait…what?" Something made him look towards the corner of the stage, where a fish tank full of giant hissing cockroaches stood waiting.

He turned six shades of white.

"…And we can have a frank discussion between Karai, Splinter and her adoptive father Shredder…"

On a side screen it showed Karai and Shredder. Shredder was drinking a cup of cocoa. Splinter waited in a separate room.

His face turning red, Leo began edging towards the edge of the couch.

"…We can invite Casey Jones in on the communication between April and Donatello…"

Don covered his face with his hands.

"…And we can see if Michelangelo truly has ADHD…"

Mike, busy making faces at the nearest camera, wasn't even paying attention.

Just then the remote in Don's hand beeped. All heads swiveled in his direction. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

"You don't have to tell me twice!" Before anyone could say another word, Don pressed on the remote.

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A/N: So what did you think? I don't know what possessed me to do Dr. Phil as the first chapter, but I couldn't get the thought out of my head for some reason. I haven't watched the show in about 8 years-ish, so forgive any innacuracies.

I AM taking requests for future chapters! If you have a tv show, movie, or anything else, please shoot me a pm and let me know. If I use it, I'll be sure to credit you in the beginning of the chapter. Like I said, this is for fun, so let's have fun with it! :D

P.S. For those who are waiting for my Mike Romance fic, My Camouflage is Orange, I have the next chapter already written, am just waiting to hear back from my beta. I also have two new Splinter fics in the works for those who are interested, just follow me or look out for them or something. They should be out within a week. J


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